Why we have the Romans to thank for sucky copy.

This blog post was adapted from my weekly email, Word Up. To get them directly to your inbox, sign up here! 

For this inaugural Word Up post, I wanted to use the first email to talk about something that really plagues brands of all sizes, from multinational behemoths to tiny, up-and-coming brands: sucky copy.

(Now, don’t worry. This isn’t one of those “rip into other brands” type of posts. That ain’t me.)

But I do think it really helps to look at some of the underlying reasons why so many brands end up sticking to the same voice, the same word choices and the same “we are a serious business” tone over and over again, so you can avoid those same mistakes yourself.

So hold onto your butts, here comes some sociolinguistics…

The story of sucky copy starts way back in 55BC, when ol’ Julius Caesar decided that he wanted to rule over our small, tiny island, so he sent a bunch of Roman legions to cross the English Channel and ask the Celtic tribes nicely if they could have the land.

(JK, they killed everybody and took everything.)

As part of imposing their rule over the tribes they spared, the Romans went around the country giving every tribe leader a choice: learn Latin — the language of Rome — or face gruesome Roman punishments.

Unsurprisingly, our ancestors played by the rules. (If they didn’t, that particular branch of the family tree came to a sudden stop.)

Soon local tongues faded away and Latin became the language of high society. It was how our ancestors conducted business, politics and religion.

And, as the centuries wore on, Latin stuck around much longer than the Romans did.

Why? Because writing was a pain in the arse back then – carving words into tablets or using quills and ink were every bit the nuisance they sound — so they only things they wrote down were of great importance.

So this form of language quickly became the language of business, even though nobody ever really spoke like that in real life.

And, as the years went on, it also became a way of separating “common folk” from “business folk” and, even today, it still carries that subconscious air of superiority, distance and coldness.

The result?

Fast forward to now and a lot of copy still feels stilted, cold and distant because it uses this “we’re better than you” business lingo.

(Even businesses that have a great tone of voice will sometimes fall into this trap when it comes to “serious” topics.)

But, worst of all, business-y copy doesn’t make an emotional connection of any kind. And customers are waaaaaay more likely to buy or follow brands that they have an emotional connect with.

So what can you do?

Remember last year, when KFC ran out of chicken? It was an absolute PR disaster.

And then they ran this awesome ad:

In this situation, many brands would have ditched their brand personalities and issued statements that said something like:

KFC and its management team sincerely regret any inconvenience we have caused to our customers. The situation is beyond our control, but we are working hard to make sure that it is resolved as quickly and efficiently as possible. We thank you all for your understanding and cooperation.

Instead, KFC maintained their voice and issued a bold statement.

It’s conversational, it takes the blame, it pokes fun at itself and — best of all — it wins the customer over with charm and personality.

By making them laugh and smile, angry customers (if there ever was really anybody furious over a lack of KFC…) are won back around. (It also went viral and changed the narrative.)

In fact, Jenny Packwood, Head of Brand Engagement at KFC, spoke about this ad last year and said:

That’s why, every week, I’ll be tell you all about how to build your voice, how to write copy that doesn’t suck and how to use words to build a kick-ass, bullet-proof brand, just like KFC have.

But for now, think about how you want your customers to see you.

Do you want them to think of you as a mate, as a teacher, as a confidant, as a deity, as a co-worker?

Then, think about that relationship every time you write to them.

No matter whether you’re writing something dead serious or light and fun, ask yourself: how would I say this to my [co-worker/mate/doctor/neighbour/whatever]?

Then write to that person and only that person.

Your copy with be 10x better, immediately. Trust me.

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